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The man was a Meat Collector. Being the only female in her family eligible for the NFC, she knew the yellow envelope he was carrying was for her. This both scared Jessica and excited her. The man looked at the young girl in front of him. Are you Jessica? he asked, staring into her eyes. With a silent nod he handed her the yellow envelope and said, Congratulations as if it were some great honor and of course it was. Jessica returned to her place at the table. Who was that dear? her mother asked, as she sat down at the table to chew on a piece of girl-bacon. Without saying a word Jessica held up the yellow envelope and handed it to her mother. Jessicas mother was both happy for her daughter and sad at the same time because she knew Jessica wasnt ready for this. She opened the envelope and began to read the Meat Notice. It said Jessica Kast your State Meat Lottery Number [BB227MN] has been called, you are hereby ordered to report to the designated meat processing plant in 24 hours to. ”Me:”Why, other than the fact I’m an asshole?”Friend: “You killed God. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the truth of his words and it was like he had run me through with a sword. I was speechless. It took me a couple of days to process what he had told me. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or on the throne.It’s a liberating, yet lonely thought. All my life, I have been told of a loving Father which is an image I clung to as I never had one. The Christian faith is burned deep into my soul/mind and even though I have no “faith” I still find comfort in it’s familiarity. I’m also Heathen and find comfort in the sagas of my ancestors and.
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